People Pleasing
The quiet art of losing yourself — and the even quieter art of coming back home.
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<section id="pp-intro" aria-labelledby="pp-intro-title">
People Pleasing:
When “Being Nice” Becomes Self-Abandonment
A soft habit with sharp consequences.
A childhood survival skill that grows into an adult tragedy:
the slow art of forgetting yourself so everyone else stays comfortable.
A SoulBotox exploration by Marina Michou
13 YEARS • 333 LIVE NIGHTS
Somewhere between a cocktail and a confession, between laughter and loss, we built a bar that became a family album.
333 live nights later, we’ve learned that a good drink and a good story do the same thing — they open the heart.
<br><br>
<strong>Hemingway’s Linz</strong> — thirteen seasons of madness, music & magic, stirred by the Michou family with equal parts love, salt, and sarcasm.
<iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Nb05RNKhXdM" title="Marina Michou // Hemingway's Linz Live Music" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/EkhxMdKvQsY" title="Hemingway’s Live #1" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ozbJ8cbwg0U" title="Hemingway’s Live #2" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tEqPMCYBis8" title="Hemingway’s Live #3" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y-quEJ0_Nuo" title="Hemingway’s Live #4" allowfullscreen></iframe>
“We thought we were just mixing drinks — turns out, we were mixing souls.”
My father still checks if the ice cubes sing right.
My mother still lights candles as if each one were a wish.
My brother still believes jazz can heal anything.
And I — I still believe that every night is a small act of resistance against indifference.
Marina Michou & Family • Hemingway’s Cocktail & Music Bar Linz • Est. 2012
SoulBotox • Voices
When the Night Teaches Us to Breathe
A small ritual between bar and body:
music as a compass, movement as medicine,
and a conversation that refuses to wear a mask.
<!-- PHOTO FIXED -->
<figure>
<img src="https://soulbotox.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/subscribesoulbotox281299108821573730918298.jpg"
alt="SoulBotox portrait — Marina Michou in soft shadow, listening with her whole body.">
</figure>
Some nights are louder than others.
On the quiet ones, we finally hear the pulse under the noise —
the part of us that wants less perfection and more presence.
This is that room.
“Not a show — a circle. Take a seat. Bring your breath.”
<a href="/voices">Listen to the Podcast</a>
<a href="/music">Open the Music Shaker</a>
<a href="/mythos">Explore Mythos Retreat</a>
Reading time: 3 min ·
Updated: Nov 2025
Tags:
<a href="/tag/music">music</a>,
<a href="/tag/rituals">rituals</a>,
<a href="/tag/retreat">retreat</a>
The Cost of Being Liked
People Pleasing is not kindness — it's survival strategy dressed as virtue.
You learn it young: keep the peace, earn the smile, be the soft one.
What begins as protection quietly becomes a cage.
We grow into adults who apologize for existing.
Who say “yes” with shaking hands.
Who swallow their truth like bitter medicine, just to keep the room warm.
“Being liked is not the same as being yourself.”
The real cost?
Your needs become background noise.
Your boundaries dissolve.
Your life shifts out of your hands and into the moods of everyone else.
The Art of Disappearing
People Pleasing is quiet self-evaporation.
A slow dissolving of edges — until you become everyone’s comfort but your own.
You learn to listen more than you speak,
to soothe more than you feel,
to shine just bright enough to be useful but never enough to be seen.
“You don’t fade at once — you fade decision by decision.”
It is an art form no one teaches but many master:
the art of disappearing while keeping a smile on your face.
The Body Knows
Long before the mind admits it, the body knows when we abandon ourselves.
People Pleasing lives in the shoulders — heavy.
In the stomach — tight.
In the breath — shallow.
“Your body keeps the score of every ‘yes’ that should have been a ‘no.’”
The truth is simple:
You cannot perform yourself into peace.
You cannot sacrifice your way into being loved.
The body collapses when the soul has carried too much pretending.
Losing the Self
At the heart of People Pleasing lies a quiet tragedy:
the slow forgetting of who you were before the world taught you to shrink.
You start living reactively — adjusting, managing, soothing, pleasing.
Your desires? Negotiable.
Your dreams? On hold.
Your identity? Fragmented.
“When you shape-shift for everyone, you stop belonging to yourself.”
You don’t break loudly;
you break silently — under the weight of your own disappearance.
The Return
Healing from People Pleasing is not rebellion — it’s reunion.
A slow coming home to the self you abandoned for approval.
It begins with one honest “no.”
One boundary spoken out loud.
One moment of choosing yourself even if your voice trembles.
“Self-respect is the first sound of your real voice.”
You stop performing.
You stop negotiating your worth.
You let people handle their own discomfort.
And you learn — softly, bravely — that love built on truth is the only love that lasts.
This is the return:
not to who you were,
but to who you were always meant to become.
